Poetry: “Before I Sleep, I Think Like This” by Zee Rizon

before i sleep.jpg
If I have got to be truly honest
I’m horrible from the rest
Routine bores me drastically
But I go through it secretly

I stripped all feelings that bind me
Time has arrived

To change the whole game again
Went out from being what I wished I am
Like fresh soil cultivated from a farm

Then I thought only gravity can take me down
trusting strangers seemed easy – I felt like a clown
I have verbalized more words

Blending lies and truth
True colors do crush a heart vodka cannot soothe

There’s a deep danger in exploiting expectations
Just the same as an obvious yet blind infatuation
We’ve been taught the difference between you’re and your
Still we tend to get mistaken, what is the cure?

Constantly played barbie dolls – that’s when we were toddlers
Became plastics with deep eye colors,

Who thought that was better?
Insecurity lies behind red curtains of blushes
But did it do us good or only got us bad rashes?

I could be tougher if I play sports
The bigger guy spoke “just go pick another course!”
Thinner than a stick was he on the mirror
“I’m not artless, just a temporary error.”

Maybe I’m meant to be alone
I’ve had mistakes

I don’t want to move on
She has something I’d probably never have
But can I assume I can be someone he can love?
Or will that come never?

Just let me fall asleep

Maybe I’d feel better tomorrow
Overthinking is my damn curse
I’m carrying too much sorrow

Eyes are shut, lights are down
Will I wake up with a frown?
The world is so cramped for me
Maybe I should just go
All my life I’ve been edgy
Bare enough to give a show

Then I feel it, slumber is coming
Erase all events not worth remembering

Try not to move my bed
I’m easy to wake
This is not a trick, I can easily break
But if I have got to be truly honest
I could be the best, just like the rest
Drawing by: Pristeen Vane
Poem by: Zee
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